O Fair, Spacey New Mexico
Jeff Bezos is too close. He owns a ranch between Guadalupe Peak and Van Horn, Texas. That’s scary. He’s scary.
Jeff Bezos is crazy smart. You seldom hear in advance about the stuff he does. He just does it. Past tense.
He buys everything in his path for reasons only he can understand. One morning he left his house in Seattle to buy a copy of the Seattle Times and came home instead with the Washington Post. Not the paper. The whole company.
It’s not good he is hanging around this close to New Mexico. I can envision walking in the door one afternoon. Roberta says, “Guess what, honey, Jeff Bezos just bought Ruidoso. He is moving us all to Las Cruces by July 15!”
Jeff Bezos seems to know all. I am not saying he is deity, but, still.
For me, if only, and back then. Exactly 20 years ago I was at a business meeting in Seattle when my business buddy Dave Martens told me about this local guy who had started a website called Amazon to sell books by mail.
A book website! Books by mail! Hahahahahaha! Poor fool. He’ll lose his butt.
Had I sold the house and told Jeff I wanted in, I would have been a one percenter today. Maybe even one of those guys who had racked up enough to pay estate tax. Fat cat rich. It would be nice to have a congressman on my side for a change.
Jeff Bezos wants to go into outer space. I am not sure he isn’t from outer space. He may have one of those fake birth certificates the right wing nut jobs think President Obama has stashed away somewhere.
He owns a space travel company. Shouldn’t everyone? Just a couple days ago, at a site across our southern border, approximately 70 miles or so from Carlsbad, Jeff Bezos launched what CNN Money called a “surprise test flight” of his New Shepard space vehicle.
Surprise? It would be a surprise if Jeff Bezos took an afternoon nap.
His spaceship worked. Do you see where this is going? Jeff Bezos is hanging around our neighborhood. He likes space. Turns out he is apparently good at it. New Mexico is in the space business. Turns out we’re good at roping cattle.
The state owns a $200 million facility we modestly call Spaceport America. It is in some God forsaken territory somewhere near Truth or Consequences. Some call it a boondoggle.
Why not sell the whole thing to Jeff Bezos? So he would not have to bother with bank loans and all that clutter, keep the price low enough to make it a pocket change deal. Say a half billion.
If the Spaceport has a future, Jeff Bezos will find it and New Mexico’s economy will soar like a rocket. If it is a boondoggle, the Amazon King might have to pass on another deal for a year or so, like, maybe delaying his purchase of the NFL. It’s kind of like you or me skipping lunch so we can go to a movie.
So, Jeff Bezos, if you read this, please give Governor Martinez a call and seal the deal. What? You knew what I was going to write before I even wrote it? Oh.
This is the home of New Mexico nonsense.