No Longer Pushing Wendy Around

 

Pardon if a ramble a bit. I have just slogged through a not-very-painful divorce. Wendy and I had been an item for 16 years. As wheelbarrows go, she was okay. Sturdy, hard worker, quiet demeanor, non-complainer -- even when left lonely on a cold, snowy night.

To be honest, I was never really comfortable in Wendy the Wheelbarrow’s company. She lives in a world of pine needles, dirt piles, mulch. It wasn’t a fit. I always had the feeling Wendy didn’t find me much of a catch, either.

I left Wendy to the loving care of my friend, Elmo. Elmo caters to Wendy’s whims and, for a reasonable wage, whisks her around the spacious lot, disposing of nature’s pesky accumulations.

Wendy’s happy, Elmo makes a few bucks to spend at the store, the economy gets a little boost, and America is a better place to live. I am feeling quite patriotic about the whole thing.

Now that I have time on my hands, what next? I ran into a friend the other day at our local social hub, aka Wal Mart, who kindly said she wishes I would write more often. Write about what, though? I can always write about politics. Or maybe just go hang myself.

A friend who chides me for being less than enthusiastic about Hillary Clinton wrote an interesting sentence. “I don’t think the American people know what they want,” she observed. That surely fits me. I just know I don’t much like what I am being offered.

 I read about politics. A lot. What interests me as a writer is the dramatic shift in tone and language. Kiss goodbye the days of “I would like to differ with my friend, the distinguished gentleman from Rhode Island.” Can you imagine those words coming out of Donald Trump’s mouth?

Here’s one that has me scratching my head. A supporter described Hillary Clinton as “incredibly credible.” Hmmm. Incredible means impossible or difficult to believe. Credible means believable. So, that would translate to this: Hillary is so believable she is impossible to believe.

Pardon the word games. What I just did is called unfair “parsing.” And if there is any guy who does not want to be parsed it is me.

An accomplished gut shot artist, Mr. Trump has perhaps forever changed political discourse with the use of demeaning nicknames. It is an effective, if distasteful, campaign gimmick.

Thus Jeb Bush became “Low Energy Jeb,” and Ted Cruz, “Lyin’ Ted,” and Marco Rubio, “Little Marco.” Having dispensed of these primary contenders, the presumptive GOP presidential candidate turned his vitriol on the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate.

Hillary Clinton all of a sudden became “Crooked Hillary.” I am proud to have enough dignity and discipline to resist such childish name-calling inclinations.

While visiting Albuquerque, the presumptive you-know-who slammed the media as "disgusting slime.” Whoa! Just hold on there, Lard Butt Donald!